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In the canon

No Longer Human

Osamu Dazai

Form
Form Novel
Year
Year 1948
Originally in
Originally in Japanese
Pages
Pages 180

"Mine has been a life of much shame." So opens the first of three notebooks left behind by Yozo Oba, and the confession turns strange and tender: a boy who cannot fathom what other people want, and so decides to make them laugh. He tumbles from the horizontal bar on purpose, pulls faces, plays the clown so flawlessly that nobody sees the terror underneath, and the act becomes the only self he has.

Mine has been a life of much shame. I can't even guess myself what it must be to live the life of a human being.
No Longer Human, Osamu Dazai

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No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai · The Daily Canon